power to the pencil.

the stranger.

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 07:04:15 GMT

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 16:46:12 GMT

if you want to get in the nuts and bolts of the real world, a child is born. the first thing they need is air. very few people are dying of asphyxiation. the second thing they need is liquid. very few people are dying of thirst. the third thing is food. there's enough food on this planet to feed everybody twice over. why, why, why are they going hungry?

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:21:52 GMT

a disciple asks the rebbe, "why does Torah tell us to 'place these words UPON your hearts'? why does it not tell us to place these holy words IN our hearts?"

the rebbe answers, "it is because as we are, our hearts are closed, and we cannot place the holy words in our hearts. so we place them on top of our hearts. and there they stay until, one day, the heart breaks and the words fall in."

--the politics of the brokenhearted, parker j. palmer

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 10:31:40 GMT

the thing about walking as compared to driving is that when you're walking you really don't know what's going to happen to you. you could trip and fall or get hit by a rock. or like, this one time when i was walking to the store to get a soda. i saw this kid up ahead of me on a tricycle. i didn't think anything. i just thought...kid on a trike.

and then the kids turns around and it's ... oh ... no. i knew i'd see this someday but why today? i just wanted a soda. the kid has no face. he's faceless. it's just smooth and bald. like a blank space to fill in. like like learn to draw a face. i knew i'd see it someday; the kid with no face on a trike. but why today? i just wanted a soda. and somehow i can tell that he is laughing at me. even with no mouth and no sound and no eyes. it is his chin. his chin is shaking in the rhythm of laughter. it is terrifying. but i know exactly what to do.

if he is the kid with no face on a trike then i know who i am. he IS the kid with no face on a trike. i know who i am. if he is the kid with no face on a trike then i must be the terrified person. and i know exactly what to do. i turned around and ran back down the block. i got in my car and started driving and well as you can see i never stopped. here i am driving along.

mj

sea/atl

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 15:29:08 GMT

taxi to the runway with my head on your shoulder. seatbelts are fastened. your hand holds a camera. a picture of us on our first flight together. nestled in the back of the plane. in the photo our eyes glow in anticipation; a sense of importance of what is happening.

the land rushes past us and the engine grows louder. i squeeze your hand. feel a flash of deja vu.

the darkness.

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 17:30:45 GMT

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods. the deeper i go, the darker it gets. i peer through the window, knock at door. and the monster i was so afraid of lies curled up on the floor. he's curled up on the floor just like a baby boy.

atlantis prease

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 20:35:07 GMT

this is real. you can share a romantic getaway with your LUVUH at the bottom of the ocean for a measly $400.00

check this out: http://www.jul.com/

sic semper tyrannis

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 16:43:46 GMT

After exiting Ford's Theatre, John Wilkes Booth mounted a horse that was being held by Joseph "Peanuts" Buroughs, an innocent theater employee. Booth rode down the alley, turned left up another alley, turned onto "F" Street, and headed toward the Navy Yard Bridge. Although the bridge was guarded by Sergeant Cobb and his detail, no passes had been required for crossing since the first of April. Thus, as the guards were there as a matter of routine rather than of necessity, Booth and fellow conspirator David Herold, who arrived separately, were allowed to pass without hindrance. The two men rendezvoused later and then headed to the Surratt Tavern in Surrattsville (now Clinton, MD) where they arrived shortly after midnight. At the tavern, they picked up supplies (including two Spencer carbines, ammunition, and field glasses) before continuing south.

Booth's Diary (used as a notebook)

At 4:00 a.m. on April 15, they arrived at the house of Dr. Samuel Mudd. Booth received medical treatment for his injured leg and both men were extended hospitality by the Mudds. Early in the afternoon, April 15, Booth and Herold headed into the nearby Zekiah swamp and were guided by Oswell Swann, a free black. About midnight, Swann brought the two men to their next destination, the home of southern sympathizer, Colonel Samuel Cox, who provided them with food for the next four days. On April 20, Thomas A. Jones, Cox's adopted son, led them to the Potomac River. Instead of crossing the river to Virginia, they headed north on the Potomac and landed on the Maryland side at the home of southern sympathizer Peregrin Davis. The next night, they successfully crossed the river to Virginia, where they stayed at the home of Mrs. Elizabeth Quesenberry, a woman who was well connected to the Confederate spy network. Thomas Harbin, an acquaintance of Booth and originally part of the plan to capture President Lincoln, took them to William Bryant and then to Dr. Richard Stuart's home. Stuart, however, did not allow the two men to remain at his home. Booth and Herold went to the cabin of William Lucas, another free black man, forcibly removing Lucas and his wife from the cabin for the night.
Garret's Farmhouse

On the morning of April 24, Booth and Herold left the cabin of William Lucas in a wagon driven by Lucas' son Charles. He drove the men about 10 miles to the ferry at Port Conway, in King George County, Virginia.

As Booth and Herold were crossing the Rappahannock River, they were greeted by three former Confederate soldiers. 1st Lt. Mortimer B. Ruggles, his cousin Pvt. Absalom R. Bainbridge along with Pvt. William S. Jett. Later Herold boasted to the soldiers that they had killed President Lincoln. Jett aided Booth and Herold by eventually finding shelter for the pair at the Garrett farm. Herold then left Booth at the Garrett farm with the three soldiers and headed for Bowling Green, Virginia. The men stopped at a tavern, described by some as "...house of entertainment," and continued chatting and drinking for several hours. Herold spent the night of April 23 at a nearby family farm. The next morning two ex-Confederate soldiers brought Herold back to the Garrett farm.

Meanwhile, twenty-five members of the 16th New York Cavalry unit, under the command of Lt. Edward Doherty, were following Booth's trail. Lt. Doherty had found out from a shad fisherman, Dick Wilson, that Pvt. Jett had been on the ferry with Booth on the morning of April 24. Doherty was also told that Jett had a girl friend in nearby Bowling Green and Jett could be found there.

Several hours after arriving at the Star Hotel, Detective Everton Conger, one of Doherty's men, forced Jett to reveal Booth's location. In the early morning hours of April 26, 1865, the column of soldiers entered the Garrett farm and were told by the Garrett's about two men sleeping in the farm's tobacco shed.

At first Booth refused to surrender, and about 4 a.m., the tobacco shed was set afire. The blaze allowed the soldiers to see Booth moving in the wooden building with a pistol and a rifle. It was at this point that Boston Corbett fired his own pistol, claiming later that it was to prevent Booth from killing more people. Several soldiers dragged Booth, still alive, from the burning structure.

Booth had been shot in the neck. As he was laid on a wooden porch, he was found to be paralyzed from the neck down and whispered his final words, "tell my mother I did it for my country...useless, useless [while looking at his hands being held up to his face]."

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 19:19:12 GMT

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 18:58:36 GMT

killer bunnies broke into our apartment and tore our flesh limb from limb. when i have this kind of nightmare i wake up terrified and eventually convince myself that it was only a dream. two nights ago i woke up and acknowledged to myself how absurd and practically impossible that there are killer bunnies and even if they are out there lurking -- they're probably not after me. BUT -- i am constantly having nightmares about people breaking into our apartment which has always been a big problem for me. when i was little i would close all the blinds and pray that i would make it safely through the night.

i used to belt out little tunes when it was time for bed keeping my whole family awake with "10 little monkeys jumping on the bed" at top volume. my brother and sister would simultaneously holler at me to shut it. i would quiet down eventually and start counting as far as i could go until i would scare myself again, positive that there was somebody/thing coming to kill me and my family.

adding this fear to the list of my psychoses should be enough but i'm wondering if this is a cue that it's time to get out of williamsburg and start fresh in a new neighborhood. i'm scared to death of moving from this part of brooklyn but also enjoy flirting with the idea of less litter, a few trees, a park nearby not infested with drunkards. but this is my home base and the few people i have connections with are in williamsburg. i happen to know the fate of people who move to another part of the city -- they vanish. realistically, i would rarely see these people or if i did it would involve meeting in manhattan for a brief dinner or similar lameness. i'm afraid of disappearing into the abyss of park slope and of killer bunnies.

yom kippur.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:37:28 GMT

everyone is gettin fat except mama cass. (thas me)

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:10:48 GMT

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching
as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 19:01:00 GMT

sometimes i really get off on typing and feel so self impressed that i can type so quickly without having to look at my fingers.

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 17:23:19 GMT

i love most nuts. almonds, pistachio, macadamia even. but i took a bite out of a big old brazil nut today and realized that it tastes just like human hair. what's up. who would want to eat a nut that tastes like that? shit just ain't right.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 18:47:10 GMT

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog For Sale"

He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting

there. "You talk?" he asks.

Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government. So, I told the CIA about my gift. In no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a pathological liar. He didn't do any of that shit."

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 05:33:32 GMT

i don't know what's going on with my skin but for the past few weeks i've inherited one giant zit after another. i may have to legally change my name to 'pizza the hut'. herumph. herumph.

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 04:24:41 GMT

the Ham

(42% dark, 57% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 18% on dark

You scored higher than 99% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 68% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

mom, do i have to wear this thing to school?

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 20:05:54 GMT

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 22:57:09 GMT

thank you sweet moses. i finally have a day job.

now i can buy the cosby show on DVD and i never have to click refresh on craigslist e v e r again. that's reason enough to do the white man's overbite.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:26:35 GMT

one of my favorite memories of my childhood is watching my dad getting ready for work. he'd always tie his tie and sing (perfectly off key) the kingston trio's 'blow ye winds'. he also wore this blue belt that had tiny stitched whales on it. i've always wanted that belt.

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 19:44:17 GMT

news: i've just superglued my fingers together. how do i fix that?

yesterday i was walking home and these two 15 year old girls were coming toward me. the girl on the right smiled at me and in her most obnoxious teenage yelp she cried out, "my friend likes you!" i think time stood still because i'm deathly afraid of teenagers for some reason. so i half smiled unsure if this was genuine or just some ploy to gay bash a four eyed geek. BUT then the girl on the left blushed and hit her pal on the shoulder whispering "stop it!" she then looked at me in a daze and said "i really like you in those glasses". she was BEET red. i knew now that this girl meant it and it really fucking made my day to be honest. i smiled and then blushed. i said, "thanks" and may have even started sprinting away out of embarassment. i've never known how to absorb something like that

my knee jerk reaction was, 'oh shit i am going to have to see this girl all the time on my street and it's going to be
a w k w a r d. but after that i thought: this girl has a crush on me and that's so very sweet.

some would take advantage of this situation but i have no intention of milking this thing just to stroke my own ego. however, i have to say that my posture has improved slightly in the past 24 hours and i have a little more bounce in my step all because of a 15 year old girl who has no idea that i share my bed with a bearded fellow.

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 13:21:06 GMT

i'm never eating mcdonalds ever again.

stop the world please, i want to get off.

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 19:00:27 GMT

somebody give me a job. i'm a real whiz at making people happy and i'm devilishly handsome. how could you go wrong?

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 15:06:04 GMT

my pants just fell down in the grocery store. MORTIFIED. of course this happens on the day when i've run out of my regular underwear. i got caught wearing briefs by all the polish ladies. herumph. herumph.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 16:16:11 GMT

um. did anybody else know that sadam hussein was married to his cousin? that explains a whole lot.